


In my veins

by The_Sinner_In_Me



Category: Depeche Mode
Genre: Angst, Blood, Drug Addiction, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 06:20:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8317132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Sinner_In_Me/pseuds/The_Sinner_In_Me
Summary: Around the times of the ending of the World Violation Tour, Dave starts to have trouble handling his recently acquired addiction. Alan is not sure yet if he will be able to help him... still he tries his best.





	

"Are you into this shit again?"  
"Oh...."  


Dave's eyes wandered to the small object his bandmate was holding between his fingers. Since they had spontaneously decided to leave the after-gig party and go back to Dave's apartment, of course he didn't have any time to tidy up a bit the mess around before Alan arrived. It didn't take him too long to spot the syringe on Dave's bedside table, half hidden under some empty dented plastic bags. Taking advantage of the singer's distraction while he was busy pulling his shirt off, Alan quickly stretched his arm and took it. A bitter sensation slid down his throat, burning the pit of his stomach. "Al, come on - Dave carefully folded his shirt and placed it on an empty chair - It's not a big deal. I'm fine. Besides, you have tried it to, am I wrong? Don't come here now and try to make me feel like a junkie or something". Alan shook his head. "That's not the point". "Then what?". Stretching his arm again, Alan took the empty plastic bags from the bedside table and counted them one by one. "How many doses have you shot up?". Dave stomped and frowned down at his friend, who was still sitting on his bed. "Are you a fucking cop? Those are old ones, I haven't shot up in days". "How many days?". "I don't know!". Sighing, Alan held up both edges of the syringe and with a sharp snap he cracked it in half. "Asshole". Dave gulped nervously and walked around the room, his arms crossed over his chest so tightly he could feel his heartbeats speeding up by the second. "I'm not a junkie. I just... It helps me to relax. You know how it is. We've been touring for months now... I just... I don't even know". "That's clear". Alan stood up, walked to the bedside table, and started to put all the garbage inside of one of the plastic bags, including the broken pieces of the syringe. Dave observed him with aprehension, but then gasped all of the sudden. "You're bleeding". Alan immediately looked down at his hands. Indeed, his fingers were oozing small but constant drops of warm blood all over the carpeted floor. "Shit". "Let me get a plaster and some alcohol". "No, it's fine, really". "You're going to get an infection, dork, and we need your hands safe and sound". After a quick nod, Alan sat on the bed again, now a bit more conscious of the burning sensation of the wounds on his skin. Dave quickly got into the bathroom and looked for the first aid kit. Seconds later he reappeared by his bandmate's side, carrying a box of plasters, a piece of cotton and a bottle of alcohol. Alan looked at him while Dave opened the bottle and soaked the little ball of cotton in it. "It's going to burn a bit...". "I can imagine...". Taking hold of Alan's right hand, Dave carefully poked the cuts on his fingers, making him gasp in pain. "Fucking shit, fuck!". "I'm sorry", Dave apologized, kneeling by his side. The wounds sparkled as the alcohol quickly evaporated, only stopping the stream of blood for a couple of seconds. "Just put a plaster on it and it will be done, please". His blood started to drip once again down to the floor at their feet. Dave was hypnotized. The contrast between the furious red flowing all along the pasty skin of his friend's fingers fascinated him, and it certainly showed up on his face.  


"Uhm... Dave...?"  


He wasn't listening anymore. In fact, he wasn't still completely aware of how the abstinence was taking hold of him, controlling him, submitting him. Without another word he leant over Alan's hand and licked his fingers all the way up to his palms, collecting each drop of blood with the tip of his tongue, savouring the warmth and the metallic taste of it. Alan frowned at first, confused by his bandmate's reaction. He wasn't high, or drunk, was he? Dave's licks rapidly turned into suckles, between choky low moans and a strange sensation of fruition from both sides. The whole situation was weird at least; Alan didn't know how to react or why have he even started to feel aroused for the manifest devotion with which his friend was literally suckling his blood. "Dave... hey, that's enough - he sighed - stop". He shifted backwards on the bed, feeling confused and dizzy, and Dave didn't hesitate in crawl on top of him immediatly, immobilizing him under his grip. His lips were plumped, sparkling with the remains of the vital liquid on them. Alan wriggled nervously, unable to put up any serious resistance. "You're scaring me". "I love you, Al". "If you loved me, you wouldn't do that shit to yourself. This is not like hitting a joint, you idiot, it's completely different". "You have done it as well...". "Yeah, but it was just one time. I have self control, mate. Unlike you. That's something that you sadly lack of. And I mean sadly because now it's affecting me indirectly". Dave shifted backwards, loosening the grip a bit. "I'm a grown man. I don't need you to worry about me - his voice trembled - I can take care of myself". Alan cocked an eyebrow and clocked. "Yeah, I know...". After an awkward moment of silence, Dave spoke again. "I have control of myself, I mean... I don't do this every day. Just occasionally. Trust me". "Why are you even trying to make me understand what doesn't make any sense for a start?". Again, Alan tried to stand up, but Dave was still straddling over his hips. "Don't go, please". "This is not the way I wanted things to happen tonight". "You are here because you want to be with me. And here we are". "I don't know... I have enough problems myself David, I can't even think of how am I going to deal with your stupidity now". "My what!? So I guess you drinking issues are small feat, right?". "Fuck off". "You won't leave". Alan laughed nervously and bit his lip. "You're sick". Dave pinned both of Alan's wrists again against the mattress with one hand. "That's true". His free hand slid down to his briefs, shoving them down eagerly, so a few seconds later, Alan perceived his friend's erection suddenly bouncing against his stomach and whimpered in response. "See? You just got off to all this". "I was already like this from the start, honestly". "Alright...". Dave smiled and took hold of his cock, massaging it softly a couple of times. "Y-You know... that shit might end up causing you impotence?", Alan babbled nervously, starting to feel his own underwear wetting with his precum. Dave sat up and brandished his already stiff cock against the palm of his hand. "I think you don't have to worry about that now...". Letting out a sharp moan, Alan wriggled his own trapped erection against Dave's perineum, making him sigh. "Jesus Christ...". "You know what I want, Al - Dave continued, now unzipping and pulling down Alan's jeans together with his underwear - And I know that you want it as well. That's why you're here". Alan squeezed his bandmate's thigh and swallowed several times before speaking. "I want you to stop doing that shit. For once in your life, please list...". But he couldn't keep talking any further. Dave started to waggle his hips, trapping Alan's erection between his balls and his arse and stimulating it with maddeningly slow rubs. Soon their moans began to fill each other's ears like a sweet choir. Alan tried his best to hold back his relief for longer, but the wet and warm pamper his friend applied on his cock was too much for him to handle. He slapped Dave's thigh repeatedly, as if warning him of his imminent orgasm. "What?". "I'm going to cum". "Ah". Dave moved backwards over Alan's trembling body, and after glaring seductively at him one more time, he continued working on his balls and then back again on his shaft, carefully sucking and licking every inch of it.  


He didn't understand why, but everything about Alan drove him crazy. His taste, his smell, his skin, every mole or trace of hair on his body... Sometimes his feelings overwhelmed him in a way he could barely handle. The fact that he had recently started to experience the symptoms of heroine abstinence after each dose didn't help much either. In fact, his mood would constantly swing between the euphoria and irritability, with shades of paranoia and angst in between. In addition, the jealous need of possessing Alan all for himself sometimes pushed him into a tide made of not particularly pleasant thoughts. Of course he loved Alan and cared about him, yet there were times when the craving reached such intensities that even got to enrage him, making him want to knock Alan down, tie him, slap him, choke him, scratch every inch of his dizzyingly white skin, just to see the redness and the blood outcroping, proving them both that he was only a deadly human being, as filthy and low as the rest, but mostly to prove himself he was worthy of Alan as anybody else.  


It took him only a few seconds to make Alan erupt in his mouth, with both of them growling in pleasure as a result. Dave didn't swallow it right away. Crawling over his friend, his lips reached Alan's just to let the warm soft load slide between their tongues as they kissed passionately. Alan moaned even louder, enjoying the taste of his own seed. Grabbing Dave's nape tightly, he forced his tongue even deeper into his mouth, which made their commissures stretch and hurt. "Please...". A drop of saliva mixed with cum slid down Alan's chin, but Dave immediatly collected it with a loud slurp. "What do you want...?". Alan was unable to coordinate two words together. "Don't...". "Hmm?". "Don't hurt yourself anymore...". As if he had received an electric shock, Dave sat up and frowned, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Stop it, I mean it. You are ruining it". Alan uselessly tried to push his friend off his hips, but the recent orgasm had let him too weak to put up any fight. "Get off me. Now". "No". "GET OFF ME!". Dave trapped Alan's wrists and held them up in the air, forcing him to put an end to his tantrum. "Why are you doing this?". "Because I fucking care about you. I don't come to you just because I want you to suck me off, which by the way, I enjoy enormously. I come to you because I love your self-hatred ass, and if I have to deal with the fact that you want to destroy yourself then I should better start walking away from you as soon as possible. I don't want to see that. I'm not ready to see that and honestly I think I could never be". Dave's heart skipped a beat. At certain point, Alan's excessively paternalist attitude annoyed him, after all, they were both grown up men, and Alan was only 3 years older than him. But for some reason it also moved him. His words obviously seemed to be honest. Dave looked at him. There was a real shade of dark sadness in his beautiful blue eyes, that only then he could perceive, not without causing him a painful sensation of guilt coming up from the very bottom of his stomach. He couldn't figure out anymore if the sharp ache he was feeling on his chest was solely caused by the abstinence, or by the thought of losing his most beloved friend because of it. What would he do all by himself then...? The anguish started to build up inside of him again, and a rush of cold sweat made him shiver from head to toe. Alan seemed to understand his thoughts, since his facial expression quickly softened. "Hey - he tenderly ran his fingers through Dave's hair - Please don't get me wrong... I don't want to tell you what to do just to feel good about myself. I really want you to be okay". Biting his lip, Dave nodded energically, feeling the lump in his throat tightening more and more. He silently wondered where the hell could he go and get another dose as soon as Alan had left the room. "I know. I'm sorry - he got off Alan's hips and sat on the mattress - You can leave now if you want". Squealing a bit, Alan sat up as well and looked at his friend in the eyes for a couple of seconds, before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on his lips.  


"I want to stay now, if you don't mind...".  


Dave couldn't help to burst into a nervous chuckle of happiness. "Are you sure...?". "Mhm". The soft brush of their lips soon turned into a slow and wet battle between their tongues, as they landed on the mattress once again. In a matter of seconds, Alan was already holding himself from the headboard, boldly receiving each ramming of Dave's cock inside of him, clamping his legs around his waist and refusing to let him go. On his side, Dave tried to refrain himself from imagining how better he could enjoy all that only if...  


"I love you".  


Alan's soft moan made it up for him. "I love you". Dave opened his eyes. Alan was staring at him, his face distorting on pain and pleasure with every thrust, whilst his whole body shook up and down rhythmically as he was sweetly possessed. His fingers had stopped bleeding, yet there were still small red stains spread here and there all over his face. How could Dave go on without him? Just the thought of it almost caused him another breakdown, which forced him to slow down his movements for a little while. Were both dependencies very different from each other at all? Maybe it was all just a question of control. He could think about that later, of course, after the ephemeral bliss that got them falling by each other's side. Everything should be fine...


End file.
